Without You
by melora30
Summary: After the events of Frozen, Sam and Jack spend time contemplating their relationship. Part Two in the In Need Series. SJ.
1. Chapter 1

**Without You**

**By Melora**

Rating: M (For some mild language and strong sexual situations)

Pairing: Sam/Jack

Category: Angst, Romance, Established Relationship, Episode Addition

Spoilers: Season 6 – Frozen, Nightwalkers, Abyss

Set: Before Frozen and during Nightwalkers and Abyss

Sequel to: "You're Not the Only One in Need"

Series: Part Two in the "In Need" Series.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. Created for entertainment not monetary purposes.

Status: Story is Complete, Series is a WIP.

Summary: After the events of Frozen, Sam and Jack spend time contemplating their relationship.

Author's notes: I must apologize for the delay on this sequel. I know there are a few people out there who were expecting it much sooner, and I am sorry it has taken me so long to post it. I just had a bit of a crisis of confidence. Hopefully that is over now.

For those of you who did not read the prequel to this: This is the second story in the "In Need" Series. Reading the first story, "You're Not the Only One in Need," would be helpful but is not necessary. Basically, the premise is that Sam and Jack began a secret relationship after Daniel's ascension. If you would like to read the previous story in the series, the 16+ version of that story is archived at fanfiction . net and the 17+ version is at samandjackalways . net. There is also a 17+ version of this story archived at the same place (although only part one is different). Admittedly, this type of story has been told before and by fanfic writers far better at it than me. So I apologize ahead of time if this story seems pedestrian. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Part One**

_Jack's bedroom_

Sam placed her palm gently on Jack's bare back, reveling in the warmth his body exuded. He always slept this way. Every night since they had been together, he would curl around her after their lovemaking, his arms wrapped around her waist and his nose buried in her hair. Yet by morning, he was always comfortably lying on his stomach, facing in the opposite direction, with his face halfway smothered in his pillow. Maybe it was that they were both still more used to sleeping alone, hence they both tended to gravitate to their own sides of the bed during the night. Or maybe it was that they felt so comfortable with each other now that they no longer felt the need to constantly demonstrate their affection for each other all of the time. Sam sighed lightly and hoped it was the later rather than the former.

She stretched languidly, trying to wake her muscles after a night of deep and undisturbed sleep. As she watched her lover, his ruffled silver hair and tanned shoulders just peeking out from under the covers, she began to ponder whether she and Jack were gradually becoming more and more like a typical old married couple.

But then… there was the fact that none of their friends and co-workers knew anything about their relationship and they both knew it would have to stay that way for a very long time. Neither she nor Jack were interested in resigning from the Air Force anytime soon. There was still too much work to do at the SGC and they were both too important to the program to give it all up right now. And so they continued to see each other in secret, cherishing every spare moment they could spend together and wondering when and if things would ever change.

Sam slid her hand up Jack's back and began to lightly run her fingers through his hair. At Sam's touch, Jack let out a small groan. "Carter…leave me alone. I'm asleep here."

Sam chuckled lightly, knowing better than anyone just how cranky Jack could be in the morning. "Sorry to disappoint you, Jack…but if you're talking, you ain't sleeping."

"But I could be, if you would just turn over and leave me alone for another half-hour."

Sam shook her head and smiled at him indulgently. "Jack…we need to get up. It's 0630. Antarctica, remember?"

This time Jack let out an even louder groan, the sound muffled by the pillow he was currently burying his face in. "Why the hell would I want to get up to go to Antarctica? Nothing good ever happens there."

Sam smiled slyly as she ran her hand smoothly over his bare shoulder. "I don't know. I have some pretty fond memories of sharing body heat with a certain sexy Colonel once in Antarctica."

At that, Jack head popped up from his pillow and he turned over to face her, his face still puffy from sleep. "Sexy, huh? You think I'm sexy, Major?"

"Absolutely, sir."

In one fraction of a second a very groggy Jack was completely alert and ready for action. He quickly rolled on top of Sam, trapping her beneath him and pinning her hands above her head. The speed and agility of his movements, in addition to the feel of his hard body on top of hers, took Sam completely by surprise.

With Jack holding her wrists firmly above her head, Sam instinctively arched her back, bringing her body, still unclothed from the previous night's activities, in full contact with her lover's. Jack's sleepy eyes immediately widened at the awe-inspiring feel of her soft skin brushing against his. And he could see from the hazy, seductive look in her eyes that Sam knew exactly what she was doing to him.

Ever so slowly Jack began to nibble on Sam's jaw and neck, carefully avoiding the lips which he instinctively knew were impatiently waiting for his kiss. Jack then lifted his head to stare down at his lover. Sam's eyes were just barely closed, her head gently tilted back into her pillow, her mouth slightly open, and her breathing ragged and irregular. There was no better sight in the world than an aroused and compliant Sam Carter.

He could no longer resist the temptation. In that moment, he needed her…so badly. He tipped his head forward and seized her mouth, possessively swiping his tongue inside.

Sam's eyes popped open at the sensations Jack was evoking in her. The sounds she made in response were muffled by Jack's mouth, which was still actively moving over hers, his tongue and lips devouring her own, as if trying to consume her whole.

Jack repositioned his grip on her wrists, making sure her hands remained firmly trapped above her head. It was clear that he was in the mood to be the dominant partner this morning, and Sam was more than happy to oblige…at least for a little while.

But as they began to make love and her desire built within her, Sam began to struggle against his restraining hands. She wanted to touch him…hold him. Jack tightened his hold on her and continued to mercilessly kiss her mouth in response to her writhing movements, determined not to let her go.

As Sam relaxed and gave up her quest to free herself, Jack removed his mouth from hers and buried his head in the crook of her neck. Gently, he began to nibble at her sensitive flesh, knowing full well that it was one of the spots that drove her crazy. He was validated in this knowledge by the whimpering sounds Sam began to mumble in his ear.

As the tension built within him, Jack began to almost unconsciously suck and bite at the spot on her neck where his face was positioned. Sam responded in kind, pulling her legs around his body to increase the contact between them. This was not the normal sleepy morning sex that they usually engaged in. This was urgent…almost primal and within minutes, both Sam and Jack had reached their release and Jack unceremoniously collapsed on top of her.

As they lay there, too exhausted and satisfied to move, Sam wondered about what had brought this on. Jack had been almost like a man possessed. He had made love to her like his whole being depended on it…as if he knew that it would be a long time before they could be together like this again and he wanted to etch the experience into his memory.

"Jack…" Sam softly called out after a few minutes of enjoying his solid weight on top of her. She threaded her fingers through his silver hair, brushing it back tenderly. "As much as I love this, you're going to have to move soon."

Still oblivious to the world around him, Jack simply murmured, "Hmmm?"

"For one thing, you are getting a little heavy and it's getting harder for me to breath. For another thing, we have to get a move on. We're going to be late to Peterson to catch the transport to McMurdo."

Jack rolled off of Sam, eyeing her suspiciously. "You sure know how to ruin a romantic mood."

Sam laughed and placed a small peck on his pouting lips. "That, Jack, was not romance. That was full-on, hot and heavy sex. And it was absolutely fantastic."

Jack merely smiled smugly at her admission as he eyed something else that had caught his attention. His grin only grew as he reached out with one finger and lightly traced a dark spot forming at the juncture of her neck and torso.

"Looks like you are going to have a little souvenir from this morning, my dear." He didn't even have the decency to look apologetic. If it were possible, he looked even proud that he had left his mark on her.

Sam rolled her eyes and started to get out of bed. "Just what I need…another reminder of your sexual prowess. I'm just glad that our t-shirts have fairly high collars that will cover it. Can you imagine what Janet would say?"

"She'd definitely demand to know who put it there. And knowing the good doctor, you would not get a moment's peace on the flight to McMurdo."

A melancholy expression flitted over Sam's face. "And we both know that's the one thing I can't tell her."

"Hey… are you having regrets about all this?" Jack looked at her apprehensively, afraid of what her answer might be.

Sam smiled wistfully and placed a firm and decisive kiss on his lips. Although she did not provide a verbal answer to his question, her kiss was the only answer he needed. That one kiss told him everything – most important of which was that she still wanted to be with him no matter what the sacrifices.

Sam stood and strode towards the bathroom in all her naked glory, her short hair slightly disheveled from their early morning activities. "I'm going to take a shower now. You can sleep for a few more minutes if you want."

As she reached the door, she turned back around towards Jack. "Or…you could join me," she offered with an impish grin.

She didn't have to ask twice. Jack was out of the bed and into the shower in record time. After all, what was extra sleep compared to a very wet and very naked Sam Carter?

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: This is where things get angsty. Just a warning: it's not going to get any better for a long while._

* * *

**Part Two**

_Steveston, Oregon _

_A couple of weeks later_

The neon light from the motel sign outside filtered through the blinds of the window, casting an eerie glow over the darkened room. After having dinner at the local diner, Teal'c and Jonas had decided to check out whatever nightlife was available in the small town of Steveston, Oregon, leaving Sam to return to her room alone. Now as she sat on the bed in silence, she stared out into the empty room and quietly contemplated the recent events in her life.

Lying back on the bed, she rubbed her hands roughly over her face, trying to banish the stress of the past few days. She grabbed the extra pillow on the bed and protectively wrapped her arms around it, curling up into a ball.

She refused to cry. Now was not the time or place. And yet...she missed his reassuring presence so much it was almost physically painful. During the day, she was able to keep her emotions in check. She had buried all of her fear and guilt deep down inside and acted like everything was normal. Over the course of the past few years, she had become an expert at compartmentalizing her feelings. Jonas and Teal'c had no idea of what she was going through. And that was exactly how she wanted it to be.

She was not used to going on missions without him. He was the leader – she was his ever-reliable 2IC. In his absence, she was now the one in charge of this mission. She knew she had to keep it together for her team. And she would try to make him proud.

It had been over a week and they still had not heard any word from the Tok'ra about Jack's condition. Over a week ago, she had witnessed Jack's worst nightmare coming true. Sam cringed and buried her face in the pillow that she clutched in her arms as she recalled the implantation process.

Memories of passively standing by as the symbiote slithered into Jack's open mouth flashed through her mind, haunting her every thought. She remembered standing there, continuing to look on in morbid fascination as the Tok'ra took over his body and worked to heal him.

She recalled with clarity her feelings of helplessness when Kanan's strange voice came from the lips she so loved, knowing full well that the man she loved was now a stranger to her and that the blending went against everything Jack believed in and wanted for himself.

As soon as the implantation was deemed a success, the Tok'ra had politely escorted the contingent from the SGC back to the Gate for a return journey home, making it abundantly clear that their presence was unwelcome at what would be Kanan's debriefing.

Sam had not even been able to say goodbye. Jack did not regain consciousness after the procedure. They only had Kanan's word that he was going to be all right and the ancient virus that had almost killed him had been eradicated.

The Tok'ra had assured them that it would only be a couple of weeks before they returned Jack to the SGC, healthy and symbiote-free. It would take that time for Kanan to report on all of his recent activities and for the Tok'ra to find a suitable replacement host for Kanan.

All the while, Sam continued to go home every night to an empty house, an empty bed. She had never had a problem with being alone before. She actually had used to like going home to the peace and solitude that awaited her.

Since being with him, however, that had all changed. For the first time in years, she desperately longed for someone's presence in her life – more specifically, his presence.

As Sam lay on the unbearably hard motel bed staring straight up at the ceiling, worries filled her head. She closed her eyes tightly, trying unsuccessfully to force herself to relax and sleep. Slowly, insidiously, her guilt, her loss, her need preyed upon her until sleep was no longer possible.

She wondered how he was. More so, she wondered if he had grown to hate her for what she had done – for what she had asked of him. She had resorted to using the worst possible tactic to save his life – emotional blackmail. Yes... it was true that Jack had agreed to the blending only after learning that Kanan had vital information and that the information would be lost without a new host for the symbiote.

But realistically, Sam knew her fear of losing him had driven her to utter those two fatal words – 'Sir...please.' And those words were the only reason he had acquiesced to go through with something so anathema to him.

It made her strangely proud and sickened her at the same time to know that she had that kind of power over him…that he would do something so abhorrent to his own sensibilities for her. It reminded her of something he had once told her in the aftermath of their lovemaking. 'I could never regret needing you like this,' Jack had said. Sam had doubted the truth behind his words then, and she doubted them all the more now.

How could he not regret needing her? He had been betrayed by the person he trusted the most solely to appease her need to save him…her need to not let him die. She tried to justify to herself that it had all been worthwhile because he was alive, but somehow her justifications seemed hollow to her now.

As she finally drifted off to sleep, the only reassuring thought she held was that he would be home soon. She would have him back and she would no longer be alone.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

_SGC Briefing Room_

Jack was gone. The Tok'ra said he just disappeared – just walked out of their base without anyone noticing. Sam stared blankly out of the briefing room window, looking intently at the Stargate as if it held the secret to where he had been taken by Kanan. All the while hoping that if she stared at it long enough, it would activate and he would come waltzing through, safe and sound.

Not realizing anyone else was in the room, she was startled out of her reverie by a deep voice coming from behind her.

"We will find him, Major. I meant what I said to Councilor Thoran. We don't leave our people behind."

"Thank you, sir," Sam acknowledged wearily.

General Hammond placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and stood beside her, both he and Sam now gazing out at the Stargate. "You need to get some rest, Major. The Tok'ra say they will have Kanan's mission reports sent to us in the morning. There's nothing more to be done until then."

Sam shook her head, "I couldn't sleep, sir. I just feel like I need to do something... anything."

The general's tone softened in understanding, "I know how much the Colonel means to you, Sam. You just have to have faith that we will find him and bring him home."

At his words Sam visibly tensed, suddenly afraid her emotions had betrayed her most guarded secret. "He means a lot to all of us, sir. He is the leader of our team and a valuable member of the SGC."

Hammond smiled at Sam's attempt to conceal her obvious feelings, remembering a similar conversation he had once had with Jack concerning Sam after she had been taken over by an alien entity.

"Yes, he is," he offered Sam the same response he had made to Jack so long ago. "Why don't you try and get some sleep. I don't want to have to make it an order."

"Yes sir. Can I have just a few more minutes? I promise I'll go to my quarters soon. I just need a little more time to think."

"All right, Major. See you in the morning." Hammond exited the briefing room, leaving Sam still standing before the window, looking out into the Gate room.

As she stood there, her thoughts turned to Jack. 'Where are you Jack? Where did he take you? Why did he take you from us?'

_

* * *

__Sam's Quarters, SGC_

Sam awoke the next morning after a restless night, her thoughts in sleep racing erratically. Her troubled sleep had only served to bolster her determination to read Kanan's previous mission reports. They alone might yield the answer to where Jack was.

There had to be some reason Kanan took off from the Tok'ra base in the middle of the night like that. There had to be some reason why he had taken Jack against his will and put him in the path of danger. And as Jonas had noted earlier, Kanan's motives had to be both personal and profound enough for him to resort to such a despicable act.

Sam spent the morning and afternoon combing through the reports with Jonas and Teal'c in her lab. After hours of reading through every detail and finding no obvious answers or clues, she finally stumbled upon an idea.

Kanan had gone back to rescue a woman that he cared for and who had helped him... a woman he had left behind. After the blending, Jack's conscience would never have let Kanan get away with that. And so Sam, Teal'c, and Jonas deduced that the Tok'ra must have gone back for the woman, Ba'al's most loyal lo'tar.

All three were now in complete agreement on this, which meant that Jack was most likely a prisoner of the System Lord Ba'al. Of all of the places Kanan could have returned to, this was the worst possibility. Ba'al's fortress was well defended – it was practically impenetrable. There would be no rescue mission mounted by either the SGC or the Tok'ra this time. Neither group would be willing to risk people on a suicide mission to rescue just one man, no matter how important he might be.

Sam returned to her quarters in the late afternoon to contemplate this knowledge in solitude. Sitting on her cot with her head resting on her raised knees, she shuddered at the thought of what might be happening to Jack. She knew the standard torture tactics the Goa'uld used. After all, she still had nightmares about Jolinar's many experiences as a prisoner of the Goa'uld.

Without doubt, Jack was probably being exposed to the most horrendous forms of torture imaginable. Even worse, he was completely alone with no hope of rescue. He had no idea that the ones who cared for him knew where he was and would not give up until he was free.

Although she would never give up, Sam was beginning to lose hope. She needed to find a way to get him out of there, and yet for once she had no ideas. Without the resources of the Tok'ra or the SGC, it was practically a lost cause.

Finally breaking down, she softly cried into her folded arms. She wondered if she were cursed – if this was her punishment...to spend her life losing all of the people she loved one by one until she was left alone. So many of the men she had come to care for over the years were gone…Jonas Hanson, Martouf, Orlin, Narim, even Daniel. And now it seemed that she was losing Jack, the man she loved above all others, as well.

Sam was not a particularly religious person. She didn't even know if she actually believed in a God. And yet, she knew from her experiences that science could not explain everything. Over the years, SG-1 had experienced too many miraculous escapes and lucky chances to deny that there was something more out there guiding their journey. Sam had reached the end of her own capabilities, and so she prayed for the first time since her mother had died.

'Please, if there is truly a God...let him live. Look after him, protect him, and bring him home to me. I know it's wrong for me to love him...that it's against the rules...so I promise I'll give him up. No more breaking the rules. I would do anything...sacrifice anything...just let him be alive and help me find a way to bring him home safely.'

Her silent prayer was interrupted by a knock on her door. Getting up, she opened it only to find Teal'c waiting outside her quarters.

"Major Carter...I believe I have a found a way to save O'Neill."

And her prayer was answered.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four**

_Prison Cell, Ba'al's Secret Outpost_

Jack leaned his head against the wall, too mentally and physically exhausted to fight anymore. He just wanted the pain and fear to end. Turning around and sliding to the floor, he thought about his situation.

He truly wanted to fight to survive...not so much for himself, but for her. He knew what his death would do to her. But he knew that he could not take much more and he had very little hope remaining that he would be rescued.

Rubbing his hands over his face, he wondered where Daniel was and why his friend had abandoned him in his time of need. Why wouldn't Daniel help him? Why wouldn't he end this torment?

Daniel suddenly appeared in the corner of the cell, his brow knit in concern and his arms crossed defensively across his chest. "Why are you so opposed to ascension, Jack?"

Jack looked up at his friend with a blank expression. "You're the all-knowing one, Daniel. You tell me," he replied sarcastically.

"Oma would say that you are unable to release your burden. That you are holding on to the material world too strongly. You have to let it go..."

Jack angrily interrupted him, "You just don't get it, do you Daniel? I don't want to let anything go." He paused and quietly added, "I don't want to leave anyone behind."

Suddenly, a look of understanding dawned on Daniel's face. Jack had been unsuccessfully trying to make him understand all along. And now he finally got it. "That's it, isn't it, Jack?"

Jack looked away from his friend, not wanting to admit the true reason why he would never agree to ascension. He turned back to face Daniel, his face revealing a man who was on the edge of completely falling apart.

"I can't do it, Daniel. You should have seen her after you left and went all glowy. It broke her. I don't know what it would do to her if I left too."

Jack hated having to admit his feelings to Daniel. He couldn't even mention her name outright. Saying her name would make his feelings for her all too real – and he didn't want that, not now that he was most likely going to die before ever seeing her again. But he had to make Daniel fully comprehend his reasoning.

Daniel nodded sympathetically. "I know, Jack. It's why you took the symbiote in the first place. You didn't want to leave her behind. But do you think that dying will be any better? At least if you ascend, you will still exist. Believe me... you could still watch over her..."

"I can't do what you do!" Jack yelled, finally losing his patience. "I can't stand back and watch. I need to actually be there with her. I need to be able to protect her... to save her. Hell, I need to be there so she can save me. And she's trying right now, Daniel. She won't give up until she finds me – she never has and never will. If it turns out to be too late...well, I'd rather be dead than have to watch and not be able to do anything."

Daniel finally acquiesced, but left a parting request. "You're right, Jack. You're a man of action. But...don't reject ascension outright. Think about it some more...please."

And with that, Daniel faded into nothingness and Jack was once again alone. He sat there for a few precious seconds in peaceful silence until he once again heard the stomping feet of the guards coming towards his cell, knowing immediately that they were once again coming for him.

* * *

Daniel returned once again to the cell, finding Jack sitting against the wall in a crumpled heap. He stared for a long time at his friend. Jack was the strongest man he had ever known and it disturbed him that the man now sitting in front of him was so despondent, so hopeless, so completely...broken.

For the first time, Daniel regretted his decision to ascend. His journey so far had been amazing. He had learned so much about the universe and about himself. But standing there in that moment, all he wanted to do was to help his best friend...and he couldn't. The only help the Others and Oma would allow him was just to be there with Jack, offering the little support and comfort he could.

Jack's eyes blinked open and he looked up at him, "Daniel?"

"I'm here," he answered.

Jack sighed wearily and stared straight ahead into the room despondently. "You were gone."

Daniel looked at Jack with apologetic eyes. "I know, I'm sorry. There was something I had to do, but I'm back now and I promise I'll stay with you till this is over."

"It'll never be over." Jack's tone lacked all feeling...all hope.

Daniel reassured him, "Yes it will."

"Daniel...you have to end this," Jack pleaded once more with his ascended friend to end the never-ending cycle of death and rebirth that he was being forced to endure. He could handle no more torture...he had finally reached his breaking point.

"Jack, you just have to hang in there a little while longer..."

"No..." Jack insisted, "I can't go back in there. If I go back, I swear to God, I'll give Ba'al what he wants, I'll tell him."

"What?"

"That he loved her," Jack finally admitted dejectedly.

Jack's thoughts immediately turned to Sam, knowing instinctively that his love for her had in someway influenced the symbiote to risk their lives to save Ba'al's slave. Kanan had loved Shallan and had left her behind. It was something Jack would never have done and it disgusted him that Kanan had. His own feelings for Sam, combined with his sense of honor, had compelled Kanan to do what he did.

"Kanan?" Daniel asked.

"He came back for her. He wanted to save her." 'Just as I would have done anything to save Sam if it had been her,' Jack confessed to himself.

"Ba'al doesn't know this..."

"If he finds out, he'll do to her what he's doing to me. Daniel, if you don't end this...I'll tell him," Jack implored him once again.

"You won't have to...it's almost over, Jack."

Jack looked up at Daniel, for the first time in days hope appeared in his eyes. "How?"

"You were right. There's always a way out...at least there's always a chance. You're journey isn't over, Jack, not yet."

Jack stared at him in curiosity. "What'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything...it was Sam and Teal'c...and Jonas, too."

Jack immediately stood up with renewed vigor, curiosity not allowing him to remain depressed and defeated. "What?"

In the background a loud blast erupted, shaking the entire room.

"They thought of something..."

Just as quickly as he had appeared, Daniel vanished and Jack was once again alone. But this time he had left Jack with something the older man had lost in the preceding days, something that Ba'al had taken away from him – hope.

Jack looked up as the power went out, finally freeing him from the gravity cell that had entrapped him for days. Rushing out of the room towards salvation, he thought to himself about his team. He knew now that he should have never doubted their abilities and dedication. The members of SG-1 were masters at accomplishing the impossible. They had found him and they had figured out how to save him...yet again.

As he heard and felt the continuing blasts of the attack shake the walls of Ba'al's fortress, he thanked whatever real God was out there for delivering him from this Hell... and for the dedication and resolve of his ever-faithful team.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five**

_Infirmary, SGC_

Sam, Teal'c, and Jonas stood at the foot of Jack's infirmary bed, quietly discussing his condition while keeping watch over his sleeping form.

"Dr. Fraiser says he'll probably suffer withdrawal symptoms from so much time in a sarcophagus, but otherwise she expects a full recovery," Sam informed the others.

"What happened to the woman he went back for?" Jonas asked in curiosity.

"Her name's Shallan," Sam stated. "She decided to stay with the Tok'ra."

"So she may continue Kanan's fight in his name," Teal'c added.

Although they had been trying to keep their conversation quiet, the familiar sound of their voices woke Jack. "Hey...I'm trying to sleep here."

Sam turned around to face him and smiled poignantly, all at once glad that he was safe and yet deeply troubled by the knowledge of the horrors he had experienced. Shallan had been quite thorough in her description of the torture Jack had endured at the hands of Ba'al. The thought of the man she loved being killed over and over again sickened Sam. Although she tried to put on a brave face for Jack, the grief and guilt continued to eat away at her. Unfortunately, the joy and gratefulness she felt at having him back was not enough to alleviate her remorse.

"Sorry, sir...glad to see you're okay."

Jack knew instinctively from her tone that her apology had nothing to do with waking him up. The guilt in her voice went much deeper than that. She blamed herself for what had happened to him, that much was obvious to him.

"Listen...that was a good idea you had there," he commended her, trying to make her realize that it was not her fault – that she had done the best that she could and had miraculously saved him once again.

Sam shrugged and turned to acknowledge Jonas and Teal'c's presence. "Actually, sir... we all contributed to it."

She moved to the side of the bed, desperately longing to reach out and touch his hand. The desire to openly comfort him was strong, and yet she controlled herself. She couldn't tell him of her relief at his return, nor of how much she loved him and had missed him…no matter how great her desire to do so. She had to maintain her professional distance. The most she could offer was, "Do you need anything or..."

"Water..." Jack answered succinctly.

"Sure." She turned around to retrieve the water from another room, taking Jonas and Teal'c with her.

With a forced smile plastered on her face, Sam returned a minute later carrying a cup of water. She was trying unsuccessfully to hide her sorrow and pain behind her cheerful facade.

"Here you go, sir." She placed the water on his nightstand.

"Thanks," Jack replied tiredly, his eyes already closing once again.

"Goodnight." Sam spoke softly as she turned to leave, never realizing that Jack had opened his eyes slightly and was carefully observing her retreating form.

Jack knew there was something decisively wrong as he drifted off to sleep. He knew Sam felt guilty for what had happened to him. She always blamed herself when something went wrong, especially when it concerned him. But there was more to it than that.

Although no one else would have noticed, Sam's demeanor in the infirmary had been vaguely distant. Her eyes and her smile told him all he needed to know. Even though she had clearly been glad to see him, her smile had been bittersweet. Her eyes had been filled with love as he had gazed into them, and yet he also had spied a profound sadness hidden in their depths. In fact, the warmth and pure happiness that usually shone from her eyes was not there at all. It was as if part of her soul had been neatly tucked away for safekeeping in a corner of her heart…as if she were protecting it from getting hurt. Upon realizing this, Jack was immediately gripped with fear.

Something had happened while he was gone…something that changed the way she felt about him. And as he drifted off to sleep, his thoughts were plagued with questions and uncertainties about what the coming days would bring.

The End

* * *

TBC in "Desperately" – Part Three in the "In Need" Series. 

_AN: Thanks for reading and special thanks go out to froggy0319 and trtlsoup2001 for reviewing. I knew this story would struggle to gain an audience because it deals with such angsty subject matter and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the reviews. Part Three of the seriesis almost finished and will be posted by next week._


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